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10 THINGS ABOUT MEN THAT YOU KNOW BUT DO NOT OBSERVE

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Popular culture likes to depict us men as the less confused of the species; monosyllabic, sex-fixated knuckle-draggers, having all the profundity of a kiddie pool; all the consistency of a Two and a Half Men scene. Utilize us with brew, pulled pork, UFC, or potentially tits, and we're putty in your grasp, correct? 
Off-base. We're advanced, erratic, super-muddled snowflakes — our tastes more differing, more intriguing than a goddamn Oriental bazaar. Actuality is, we're so multi-layered it'll thump you on your butt. 



Here, at that point, is a rundown 10 of the things that make us cheerful, and plan to be astounded or, not shocked at all since, similar to I stated, we're erratic.



1) Feats Of Non-Strength 

Darts. Horseshoes. Stepping stool Toss. Past the consecrated fields of play are the sacred parking areas and patios of drink, and where there be drink, there might be exercises — non-athletic exercises, as yet requiring predominant expertise, however without the danger of hoisting heart rates or breaking sweats. Such interests additionally bear the cost of us a free hand to hold our drink or potentially clench hand knock or potentially high-five, with the goal that makes it significantly more marvelous. 

2) You Built That! 

From the masculine pride you felt subsequent to chiseling that poop tabular Mother's Day clay ashtray around 1994 Arts and Crafts, to gazing in blissful wonder at your first diaper-decimating crap, to gathering your better half's Ikea MALM, we are all hardwired to lounge in the delight of building something; The Joy of Completion. (An end product of this is The Joy of Demolition, specifically as it applies to doltish Ikea furniture.) 

3) "Driving It Down" 

That is the thing that comic Bill Burr calls the activity of a man attempting, no matter what, to keep up his poise, precluding himself any presentation from securing feeling, even in the most desperate of situations, in which it would somehow or another be absolutely admissible to let free with a terrible yowl or, as conditions directed, a banshee howl. However, a man doesn't permit himself such liberalities. To be clear: it's not the containing of our own feelings that makes us upbeat; it's the not suffering through another man's passionate upheaval that presents to us the genuine happiness. On the off chance that I truly need to encounter feeling, it'll be my own, and it's at whatever point I signal up that Volkswagen business with the Darth Vader kid — it gets me without fail. 

4) How Do We Put This Politely… 

Whatever you call it — a hummer, a beej, fellatio, oral delight — it needn't bother with much clarification. The logical explanation behind why it makes us cheerful is on account of our pleasure focuses get shook like a goddamn typhoon. The mental reason is that we get a front column seat to a young lady we at any rate similar to being extremely gross for us, and only us. That fulfills us lovely. Elsewhere in the world, fire is hot. 

5) Intelligence Masquerading As Stupidity Masquerading As Intelligence 

There's a reason the splendid makers of any semblance of Ron Burgundy, Kenny Powers and Homer Simpson have so completely stolen our hearts: Watching a shrewd on-screen character imagine he's a man so imbecilic he trusts he's a virtuoso is quite recently horribly pleasant. Giving groups of onlookers such a strong blend of egotism and idiocy is, alongside jazz, the considerable American work of art. Their shenanigans are the wellspring of endless hours of our bliss and, to cite Mr. Burgundy: "Don't act like you're not awed." 

6) McGuyvering 

It's fairly identified with the "building your own particular stuff" thing, yet the soul of McGuyvering is more about a man's nature to extemporize and settle whatever requirements settling with the restricted assets accessible, and unconventional should the arrangement, as much as possible. The greater part of these arrangements do at last bomb yet, until the point when they do, there's an unmistakable feeling of happiness we encounter, knowing we figured out how to settle that moped/latrine/rollerblades/Xbox controller with only our exposed hands, compel of will, and a metric ton of channel tape. 

7) TVs In Random Places 

This consolidates our satisfaction in gazing at glossy things with our affection for gadgetry, blended in with the ethos of doing things essentially on the grounds that we can, man: from Dick Tracy's unique TV wristwatch, to Elvis' notorious TV memorial park/target extend, to fundamentally every scene of Pimp My Ride that highlighted a TV inside an auto's sun visors/headrest/focus reassure/hubcaps, to those inn restroom mirrors with, you got it, inserted smaller than expected TVs; they are for the most part magnificent and make us grin. 

8) A Dog Wearing Sunglasses, Standing On A Surfboard 

I have no clue, yet that response to what makes a man grin is, as a rule, "taking a gander at a photo of a puppy with shades on a surfboard." There's every so often some variety — it could rather be a skateboard, or the shades could be supplanted with a monocle, yet that would be less conceivable clearly. Point being, the agreement is no other picture, shy of His Excellency The Pope, or perhaps Jesus, or Lemmy from Motörhead shaking out so damn hard, collects a bigger number of grins than the pooch/surfboard combo. It's quite recently the "Damn brother, did I truly simply pull this off? I figure I did," demeanor on the puppy's face. He's doing it for every one of us. He's donning, he's down for a decent time, yet buddy is chill about it. In case you're a man and can't grin at that, your face is most likely broken and I'm sad. 

9) Portable Things 

Movability clearly implies having the capacity to transport the marvelousness of your most loved thing and, in this manner, giving bliss wherever you go. War vessel was the best table game ever. (I've been told Candyland was additionally fantastic however I never played it in light of the fact that the commence appeared to be unlikely) But Travel Battleship? Much cooler — cooler than wake-surfing behind the U.S.S. Nimitz. Bongs are entirely cool. The versatile snowboard repair pack that changes into a small scale one-hitter? Super cold. Custom chopper bicycle? Truly cool. Minibike? Miles-clench hand knocking Elvis levels of cool. Grill smoker? Pretty rad and likely why the fear mongers despise us. Grill smoker appended to a trailer hitch, prepared for the open street? Why the psychological militants will never win. 

10) Repetition, Repetition 

Within joke or shared tale is a sweet and inebriating thing — like a strong drink of Kentucky Bourbon. Be that as it may, the shrewd and ceaseless get back to said tale, even, say, after 10 years? Indeed, that there's your Lagavulin single malt — fittingly matured and considerably more fulfilling. Like that time in 2006 when your amigo Jer appeared to a patio grill in his superfluously short shorts. Unending clever remarks resulted about Jer's "sweet calves" and "epic thighs" — and it obviously couldn't end there. Indeed, even years after the fact, the subject of Jer's Killer Gams still comes up — even at his wedding toast — conveying chuckling and delight to scores of men.





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